Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Upcoming Coronation

I'm getting a crown in a few weeks.
Unfortunately I'm not getting a crown because I'm queen for a day; and I didn't win a beauty contest.
I'm getting a crown on my tooth. Ouch.
One of my molars has a fracture. When my femur was fractured in fourth grade, I didn't get a crown; I got a cast. The crown on my tooth is like a cast that stays on forever.
My dentist said she just went to a conference where they discussed the fact that more and more people are living to be 100 years old; so we need to be even more diligent in caring for our aging teeth. I'm only 46; and already one of my teeth is going into a permanent cast.
The dentist explained to me, while I was still lying on the examining chair with my head tilted too far back, that if I don't get the crown, I may have to get a root canal. That sounds like a punishment.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you can't have dessert."
"If you continue to sass your mother, you will be sent to your room."
"If you're not home by curfew, you will be grounded."
"If you don't get this crown, you will get a root canal!"
I decided to get the crown. I'm a rule follower; and with my dental anxiety, I don't think I can endure the root canal. It's bad enough that my mouth, which I assume has always been a democracy, will now be under the rule of a monarch. The unruly molar with the crown will definitely demand the lion's share of attention. The other teeth are going to have to adjust to the change.
I don't want to mess with the geography in there by digging a canal which might eventually lead to a bridge. No thanks...unless the newly crowned royal tooth decrees there must be a canal. In that case, I guess I won't have much of a choice. My mouth is not my own. Hopefully I'll live to 100 so my royal tooth can enjoy a long and successful reign.


  1. When we were kids, my mother would say "I'll crown you!" when she was really angry with us. Apparently my oldest sister once replied, "Make mine diamonds!" and got really crowned.

  2. Having had root canals and crowns, I have more than one, I can say that in the long run they are both worth it. Besides, my gold crown is probably the only gold I will ever own. :-)

  3. I love your writing style, and the humor you added to this situation. Good luck, and I know things will go smoothly :)

  4. Love the story, and I have quite a few crowns, including that root canal. All good, and keeping it together! Actually, people say the root canal is awful, but the hardest part for me was staying still so long. It really doesn't hurt at all. I find it amazing that a dentist can work like that so patiently. But, now you're having a crown, and that's going to be good for the tooth!

  5. This one's right up my alley, Lori: word play & humor under less-than-ideal circumstances. Well done. I especially enjoyed, "It's bad enough that my mouth, which I assume has always been a democracy, will now be under the rule of a monarch." May your newly installed monarch prove benevolent!

  6. Queen for a Day with a new crown-while the process may not be fun the rewards are many!