Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Beach Bummed

My family knows I prefer indoor activities unless I am on vacation. For ten days a year, I live like a person on a Nike commercial. If not on the beach, I'd rather be on my couch. In fact, I sometimes blame my inactive lifestyle on the fact that we do not live ocean side. If we lived near the ocean, I would be a dog-walking, running, biking, paddle-boarding, bird-watching, zip-lining fool. I would slather myself with sunscreen and insist on eating a healthy, grilled, seafood dinner on the patio every single evening. 
Unfortunately for my waistline, we live 10 hours from the ocean. We do not have an enclosed patio, so we are forced to carry all the patio furniture cushions in and out whenever we decide to sit outside. We have so many cushions, that I am completely exhausted by the time I have the cushions in place. From the moment I sit down outside, I begin to dread putting all the cushions back in the garage. 
If we lived at the beach, we could leave the cushions in place. The intense sun would dry the damp cushions in record time, fashionably leaching them of their color, leaving them tastefully faded. Worn out things look classy at the beach. Worn out things look worn out in my backyard.
On muggy days, like today, I seriously consider sitting on the cushions inside the garage. It's cool in there. It's so humid outside that my hair stays in a frizzled cloud around my face. No matter how long I spend blow-drying and straightening it, it takes about five minutes for it to recoil from the hot, wet air. My hair recoils first; then I recoil and retreat back into my air-conditioned lair. If we were at the ocean, my hair would be sun-streaked and windblown.
At the beach, grit on the hardwood floors is expected...sand carried in on flip flops and bare feet. I'm not sure why I have grit on my hardwood floors here in central Kentucky; so I choose to ignore it and pretend I'm at the beach.
The freshest seafood we can get here comes from Kroger's seafood department. If it smells fishy, I steer my cart right on to the red meat section. The ocean is good for my cholesterol.
At the beach, I feel relaxed. At home, I feel harried. At the beach, I don't set cell phone alerts or check my calendar. At home, I misplace the dog groomer's reminder card and end up missing the dog's grooming appointment. At the beach, fresh strawberries seem like dessert. At home, fresh strawberries seem like dessert only if they are on top of chewy chocolate brownies and a scoop of French vanilla ice cream.
I need to move to the beach.


  1. Thanks for the smile. I love my central air. Why be outside sweltering when you can be inside, sitting in a comfy chair, and enjoying the coolness of factory air? A dish of ice cream topped with whipped cream and a cherry doesn't hurt either.

  2. Now, you have me thinking seaside thought as well. I love the sound of the sea...that's what I dream of when I beach dream.

  3. Now, you have me thinking seaside thought as well. I love the sound of the sea...that's what I dream of when I beach dream.

  4. So fun to have 10 days at the beach. Love the contrast to home life and beach life. Hope you managed to bring home some beach fun to your part of the world.

  5. You've made me miss my recent beach time-A lot! I wish it could be closer too, but I disagree with one thing! My hair curls more than ever there! Hoping for your wish to come true!

  6. I love the beach, too. One of my favorite visits to the beach was in Oregon in the winter. The water was so wild and beautiful.

  7. I'm right there with you. I would love to live by the sea! That's one of the things I truly want to do when I grow up!