Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Lay Off of My Blue Cheese Shoe

The day did not start well. Some days don't. This one went particularly sour. In my hurry to get out the door, I poured creamer in my coffee, snapped the cap on the creamer, flung open the refrigerator to replace the creamer and accidentally knocked a glass jar of blue cheese dressing off the fridge shelf and onto the kitchen floor. The jar cracked and blue cheese shot out across the hardwood and onto the toe of my right shoe.
My favorite pair of grey suede flats was ruined. I didn't have time to change, so I scooped the broken jar into the sink. That's right, the sink; I didn't even have time to carry it to the trash can. The dog was trying to lick up some of the blue cheese which I was pretty sure was not a good idea. I grabbed about 10 paper towels off the roll and smudged up the cheese sludge as best I could. All the while, the time on the clock above the stove seemed to be racing ahead. My heart was pounding. I threw all the cheesy paper towels into the sink...that's right, the sink.
I grabbed a couple more paper towels, wet them under the faucet, and went to work on my shoes. The left one was unscathed; but the right saving it. I had to wear it anyway.
I was on my way to work with a soaked suede shoe that smelled like blue cheese.
I didn't expect the day to get much better. It lived up to my expectations. It was exactly the kind of day I expected to have in my blue cheese shoe.
The students were restless. They knew I'd be out at a professional development training for the next couple of days, so I guess they were gearing up for two days with a sub.
While I was trying to copy field trip permission slips, the copy machine jammed and lit up like an ambulance, red lights flashing all over the display panel. I grabbed the original off the glass and ran to another copier, running back to the first to clear the jam. I worked for several minutes pulling accordion-shaped permission slips from every crevice of that horrible machine. Then, as I slammed the last panel on the unjammed copier, I heard the warning beep on the second machine. Hello! Red lights blinked everywhere...seriously. I thought I caught a whiff of blue cheese as I ran over to machine number two and started furiously digging around for pleated permission slips.
Grades had to be finalized for report cards, learning check results had to be uploaded, sub plans had to be prepared...the day wore on. The cheese smell grew stronger. I hoped it was just my imagination. I finally dragged myself out of my classroom and into the parking lot exactly 12 hours and 15 minutes after I had arrived.
I'd been knocked down,
I felt slapped in the face,
and I'd worn a blue cheese shoe all over the place.
As I headed across the pavement to my lone car, I couldn't help but think...
Elvis has left the building.


  1. This was so vivid. The details about the mess, your shoes, and the copier especially. If you chose to revise, the only thing that you might want to flesh out is the bit about the students--what were they up to exactly?

    1. Good suggestion! They were up to no good, and I should have added some funny examples.

  2. Oh gosh I loved this piece. Your voice so strong as well as you angst. Hope you have better days ahead.

  3. Thank you! Me too! Stinkin' blue cheese ruined my day.

  4. What a great story! I
    Loved how you kept repeating certain key words and phrases to remind the reader what had set the whole bad day in motion...hope tomorrow proves to be a better day!

  5. Thank you! I'll definitely try to be more careful in the morning. There's a bottle of Ranch with my name on it...

  6. You make Alexander proud in this piece - that's something???