Monday, March 14, 2016

Onomatopoeia


In my ears
and on the walls
Kerflunk and skitter
as a pencil falls
 
Screech and squeal
a chair on tile
A whispered giggle
that makes me smile
 
The electrified current
of a humming light
The whistle of pages
ever so slight
 
The kissing squelch
of rubber soles
The pop of the hole punch
punching holes
 
A snapping trio
of binder rings
A zipping jacket
that practically sings
 
A quiet day?
Nearly never...
'cause learning
is a loud endeavor!



Sunday, March 13, 2016

Seventeen Years Ago Today


Seventeen years ago today, I asked the young, smiling nurse, "Where is the doctor?"
My doctor was old and wise; and I felt it was necessary to have someone with experience in the room. Everyone suddenly seemed so childlike. Where were the people who knew what they were doing? Where was someone, anyone, who had done this before? My mom and dad were on their way; but they had a long drive ahead.
"The doctor will be here when you're ready," the smiling nurse assured me.
"I'm ready now," I said.
"Not yet," she said.
My husband paced. He was 28; but he looked like a freckle-faced boy. Neither of us had a clue about how our lives would change. A few hours before, he had raced through red lights on my order. We were trying to get to the hospital after a 90-minute drive from his mother's house. When my contractions started, we had been visiting her for the weekend.
All the way down the parkway, our dog, a feisty Cairn Terrier, insisted on sitting on what little lap I had left...her nose smudging the glove box on the passenger side.
"We have to take her home first!" I said. "We can't leave her in the car for hours!"
My husband swerved into our neighborhood and left the driver's side door open while he rushed onto the  porch stoop. The wriggling dog in his left arm, he fumbled with the keys. Every second seemed like an hour at least.
Finally, he was back in the car, and we were zipping across the empty, early-morning streets.
When we arrived at the hospital maternity ward, they got us settled in our room. My husband said to the nurse, "Is this it...the real deal, I mean? The baby's not supposed to be born for a few weeks. Should we just go back home?"
What was he saying...go back home? I stared at him.
Fortunately, the nurse smiled her cheery smile.
"Oh no," she said. "This is it. No need to go back home for a while. This baby will be here today!"
She was young, but clearly very smart...a child prodigy, I thought.
Finally, the doctor arrived...just in time to catch the baby after I'd done all the work.
Jack, only 5 lbs, 14 oz, was capable of making everything seem perfect from the moment we saw him. Like his storybook predecessor, he could sell the cow for magic beans; and it would all work out in the end.
Now, 17 years later, he celebrates his birthday. We crowd around him, much like we did on the day he was born. Does he look happy? Yes; Jack always seems happy, if for no other reason, then simply to make those around him smile. We could not be one tiny bit prouder of the young man he has become. Our Jack, born 17 years ago this very day...a dragon-slaying, beanstalk climbing, giant-tricking, clever, clever boy with wisdom beyond his years.
On the day he was born, I remember feeling desperate for someone to arrive...to show up in my hospital room and signify that everything would turn out okay...my parents (why were they driving so slowly?); my husband (did he really need to leave my side for a second?); the doctor (where in the world was the doctor)?
Then Jack arrived, giving a friendly shout out to the world. They handed him to me; and I knew right away...this was the someone I'd been waiting for. He had arrived...a shining example of the best of all of us, with a wise and happy face and ten fingers and ten toes. We all crowded around him; and he made us smile.

Saturday, March 12, 2016

The Hero of the Day

we have photos
I'm sure
of that vacation
an August in the 1980s
me - sunburnt miserable
even the ferry captain felt bad
waved me over
let me steer the boat
ocean breezes
combed hair from my braid
salty mist curled it
the island...a sugary thumbprint
in the distance
grey-green waves, fringed with foam,
kneaded the shoreline
it's too rough for us
mom said
shell at your own risk
a faded warning at the dock
stuck in her mind
we wanted something whole
though
a whelk, a cone, an auger
we didn't know or care
just something big enough
to be a paperweight or bookend
a reminder of the sea
to take home to the mountains
dad rolled up his long shorts
and waded in
his feet gripped the rough
rocky sea floor
we trailed beside him
on dry, hot sand
cheering him on
there's one, my sister squealed
a large shell swirled past his white shin
got it, dad said
triumphant
dad, who did not love the beach,
battled waves for an hour
dad, who longed for a fishing pole,
the pop-up camper,
still lake waters, a cool breeze
instead, shells weighing down
his drenched pockets
he dipped his hand beneath the water
then in one swift motion
caught a conch shell,
pink and white and swirly perfect...
he held it high above his head
the hero of the day







Friday, March 11, 2016

Someone Has Been Sitting In My Chair

A substitute teacher is teaching my class today. She is a Mama Bear like me. In fact, her daughter is a student at our school. She has subbed for me before; and when I returned, everything was in its place. Students reported all went well. I imagine things will go as planned today.
Two years ago, a former collegiate basketball player, Mr. S., who happened to be 6'9," subbed in my classroom. He was just out of college. The children knew him from the year before when he played for our state university. They were excited about my absence.
"Will he give us his autograph?" one student asked.
"I'm not sure," I said. My feelings were a little hurt. Usually, they were sad to see me go.
The night before he subbed, I left my plans and class rosters, all labeled and organized neatly, on my school-issued teacher desk. Then I dusted around the computer and document camera on my antique wooden desk, adjacent to my teacher's desk. I loved that antique desk and its matching wooden rolling chair, both gifts from my husband. I vacuumed up the lint off the carpet in the reading area and tidied up the bulging bookshelves.
Before locking the classroom door, I tucked my wooden rolling chair, warm cherry wood gleaming, under the desk.
I wrote a note, in cursive, on the white board, "Behave for Mr. S.! I'll miss you!"
Then I locked the door and left. It was Thursday evening.
Monday morning, I unlocked the classroom, wondering vaguely how Friday had gone. My note on the white board was still there. Beside it, someone had drawn a smiley face with a pink marker.
I turned on the lights and slipped out of my jacket, hanging it on the peg behind the dividing screen that closed off the storage area.
"So far, so good," I thought, noticing that the students' chairs were up on the desks like always; and the floors were mostly clean...a broken pencil here, a curl of perforated notebook paper there. Shavings from the pencil sharpener had spilled over on the floor, but that was pretty typical.
Then I saw it...my wooden chair...my antique, wooden chair...the one that was just right, not too hard, not too soft...was broken in pieces. The cherry spindles along the back were cracked in half; and the rounded top part of the chair was hanging from one splintered arm. I gasped. Someone had been sitting in my chair; and he broke it all to bits.
"Oh my," I whispered, gingerly gathering up the loose pieces of the chair. I reminded myself that accidents happen.
By the time the children arrived for class, I had regained my composure. This was not the time to act like Baby Bear.
"Mr. S. broke your chair," one of the children stated the obvious.
"I noticed," I said, shrugging nonchalantly. "I'll get it fixed."
"He was too tall for it," another child explained. "He sat down, and leaned back, and the whole thing tipped and...well, you can see the rest for yourself." He waved at the busted chair.
"Was he okay?" I asked.
"Oh, yeah. He's tough."
"Good," I said. I was glad he was okay. I imagined it was quite a start to the day. Poor guy. Twelve-year-olds are not always kind when grown-ups experience an embarrassing moment.
During my planning period, I rolled what was left of my chair to the custodian's office. Felix, our custodian, looked worried. He said he'd do his best.
"I guess that chair is for a shorter teacher," he said, "like yourself." He offered me a plastic rolling chair with a padded seat and no arm rests.
A few mornings later, I was pleasantly surprised to find my chair, a little battered and scarred and smelling faintly of wood glue, back in place by my antique desk.
It's a good thing I don't sit down much during the school day since some loose splinters snag my sweaters; but the chair is back where it belongs...mostly good as new. She might be old-fashioned and only useful for a short teacher, like myself; but she's a pretty tough old gal.
The chair will be fine today. My sub is my size exactly.


Thursday, March 10, 2016

Starstruck

I saw George Clooney tonight...on my way to get my hair cut. Granted, if I had actually seen the real George Clooney on my way to get my hair cut, I would have been mortified. My hair has grown extraordinarily fast the past six weeks; which means my gray roots were embarrassingly visible despite the fact that I have "dusted" them with WOW gray concealer every morning for two weeks. The whole process has added an extra 15 minutes to my usually brief morning beauty (and I use that word loosely) routine. I had that much of a skunk stripe to hide.
Why should I care if George Clooney sees that I have gray hair? George Clooney has gray hair.
George Clooney was propped up by the curb, against a trash can. It was drizzling outside. His gray hair looked very handsome...distinguished even.
It always rains on the day I get my hair cut, ensuring that my hair looks great for the 10 minutes it takes for the hairstylist to remove the cape, swipe my credit card, and schedule my next appointment. After that, it's all downhill. My hair gets wet and frizzy on my way from the salon to the car. The next day, I can NEVER get my hair to look as nice as the stylist made it look the day before.
"It's raining," the hairstylist says knowingly. She has been cutting and coloring my hair for years.
"Of course it is," I say. I don't tell her that I just saw George Clooney. I think about it while I wait for the color to set.
Someone must have grown tired of George Clooney, and his gray hair, and his debonair smile. Someone must have loved him once...enough to buy a huge poster of his face...enough to have the poster framed and hang the poster in her apartment.
But now the framed poster of George Clooney is propped up against a trash can, by the curb, in the rain, about a block from my hair salon.
I decide I have spent way too much time thinking about George Clooney...kicked to the curb. I wasted the time I usually spend reading gossip magazines about beautiful people like George Clooney...while the rain drums against the roof. I must clear my head of poor, rejected George Clooney, or I will not be able to fully enjoy my 10 fleeting minutes of beautiful hair.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Morning Madness

"Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have." — Lemony Snicket
My mornings are hectic. I've tried waking up at various times, preparing lunches, outfits, and book bags the night before; but regardless of my careful plans, something always goes wrong in the morning. My blow dryer only burns out, filling the bathroom with the smell of burnt hair, IN THE MORNING when my hair is still wet. My sons only realize they must take the all-white (insert soccer or lacrosse here) uniform (the mud-splattered one that is still in the dirty clothes basket) to school that day IN THE MORNING. I remember, IN THE MORNING, that I parked the car on near-empty the night before and must make time to stop at the gas station on my way to work. The dog only rolls in something vile smelling on her MORNING walk.
This morning, I had to be at school even earlier than usual; and I had to stop at Chick-Fil-A on my way to work in order to pick up a platter of chicken mini biscuits for student council breakfast. I ordered the platter yesterday; but, of course, since it was MORNING, the platter was not ready. I waited impatiently by the register. How long did it take to throw some tiny breakfast sandwiches together? They had had 24 hours notice. I paced in place, rocking from one foot to the other. It did not make time go by any faster. To distract myself, I watched other people going about their morning.
An older gentleman sat at a booth, enjoying his breakfast while reading the newspaper. I heard a member of the wait staff call him by name. He regularly had time to eat a leisurely breakfast at Chick-Fil-A? I felt overcome with jealousy.
A husband and wife stood at the condiment counter, helping themselves to coffee creamers. The napkin dispenser was empty. Neither of them thumped the top of the obviously empty dispenser nor did they whip around frantically, searching for someone, anyone, to hand them a paper towel. Instead, they waited patiently for an available cashier and asked politely for some extra napkins. Why weren't they rushing? I was filled with admiration.
So it wasn't just mornings in general, I thought to myself, when, several minutes later, I was hustling out of Chick-Fil-A, balancing a tray of chicken sandwiches. I had only moments to get to school before student council members would be waiting at my door unsupervised. Some people actually had relaxing mornings. I marveled at the thought.
"That should be my goal," I whispered wistfully, as I whipped into a parking space and ran full-speed into the building, sloshing coffee on my sweater in the process.
Forget about travel or a second career, "I will have a calm and peaceful MORNING...when I retire."

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Sack Lunch

My older son is a picky eater; and although my younger son is not particular when it comes to food, I have always packed their lunches...since the day each boy started kindergarten. When they were in elementary school, they carried nylon Land's End lunch bags with their initials embroidered on the front. Jack's lunch bag was red; and Will's was blue. The front of the lunch bags had mesh pockets where, at the end of the day, I would sometimes find the little notes I'd included in their lunch that morning..."You'll do great on the spelling test!", "Here's what Daddy looked like when he was your age (along with a photo copy of their freckle-faced, red-haired dad)!", "I'm so proud of you." Although the notes were crumpled and stained with ketchup, I was happy to know that the boys had saved the notes instead of tossing them out with the empty Ziploc sandwich bags and juice boxes.
The summer before middle school, an older friend advised Jack to leave his Land's End bag at home and carry his lunch in a brown paper sack.
"Are you sure, Jack?" I asked. "Your red lunch bag keeps your food colder and holds more stuff."
"I'm sure," Jack said.
We found large-sized lunch bags at the grocery store; and, for the past six years, I have been packing brown bags full to the brim with lunches for my boys to take to middle school and now high school. I still add a note every now and then. Sometimes, when I'm putting clothes in the washing machine, I find the notes folded up in their jeans' pockets.
What will I do, I wonder, when they are away at college?
I will send care packages, of course; but that will not be the same as packing favorite sandwiches, and green grapes, and a surprise candy bar in those brown paper sacks. It won't be the same as imagining my boys opening their lunch bags at school on a good or bad or regular day and, in the middle of a crowded cafeteria, finding a little bit of home on the table in front of them.
Over the years, those lunch bags have carried a whole lot of love.